So I am a musician, I fully realized this in 2013. So many years spent wondering if I was good enough to devote my life to it. It is very interesting to me, the way we perceive art, whether it is our own or someone else's, and more particularly how we judge it.
I have let go of trying to be good. I know in my heart what I am meant to do based on what comes naturally. Lyrics & melodies & more recently, synth parts will pop into my head on a daily basis. Although seemingly random, this has been happening to me for as long as I can remember. For example, as a young lad, I would make up offensive songs about my brothers to provoke some sort of controversy amongst them, I have always thrived off of intensity. Now I see my sexy wife bend over and a sensual R&B song plays in my head. Clearly something is strange about me.
SO here is what I have realized this past year. Just because we are meant to do something doesn't mean we are meant to be "good" at it, or make any kind of money from it. But if you feel compelled to do it, then fucking do it who cares. Do it. For me being on stage takes me to a place where worldly things don't exist.
2013 could be the most revealing year I have ever experienced, but for every mystery solved, 1000 stayed covered. I was so hungry to tour & play gigs at any expense. I maxed all my resources to do this, I am spent. I am not sure what will come of 2014. Likely release a cassette or two. I booked 47 gigs in 2013, I hope to do the same in 2014. But through all this exploration, I realized how much I love Alberta, and Calgary in particular. January 2014 will mark an 11 year anniversary of my first bar gig, at Vern's, where Broken City now stands. Thanks Clint, I love you man. In the past 11 years it has always been on my mind as to how I can be apart of the music scene in Calgary. I continue to ask myself this question. Having recognition abroad as an artist is a special thing, and I don't believe it happens by chance. Additionally having a strong local scene doesn't happen by chance. So in 2014, I am going to take a step back as a touring musician, and two steps forward for the scene in Calgary. I am going to focus as much energy towards it as I did touring this past year. We will see you around town Calgary.
So heres some of my highlights of 2013: Getting married, Sharing my sons art across the continent, Broken City Patio GIG (BIG), New Radar (Calvin Love), Opening for Royal Canoe // Calvin Love // Sean Nicholas Savage // HUMANS // MBF // HighKicks // Gold & Youth, Living in my van on tour, the thousands of new genuine smiles I encountered on my adventures.
Fuck yes planet earth. Wow. Stoked to do it again...